1. You find yourself socializing primarily with other people who are parents, even though you didn't even like some of them before you had kids. You will also find that the main topics of cocktail party conversation are no longer the stock market and what's opening at the movies this weekend, but have to do with bodily fluids instead -- as in spit up, bowel movements, and leaking breast milk.
2. You will look affectionately at your long-forgotten partner one night and discover that you are both wearing matching burp stains on the shoulders of your pajamas. This will actually seem romantic.
3. You'll find yourself striking up conversations with anyone pregnant (to relate all that advice you didn't want to hear when you were expecting) or pushing a stroller (to beg for advice on all those things you have yet to figure out).
4. You will suddenly discover how loudly certain spots on your floors creak, your pipes bang, and, worst of all, the way the automatic garage door shakes the entire house while your baby is (finally) sleeping.
5. Your mother-in-law and maid of honor will be deleted from the speed dial settings on your phone to make room for the pediatrician and the local pharmacy.
6. You will spend hours weighing the merits of cleaning dried baby food off one of those splat mats designed to keep your floor clean versus simply cleaning it off the floor itself.
7. You will not only be able to recite exactly what time the sun comes up during any given season of the year, but will also learn how late the teenager across the street stays out, what time the pre-dawn newspaper is delivered, the sound of your night-shift neighbor's car arriving home at 4A.M., and exactly what size animal it takes to set off the sensor lights in your driveway.
8. You discover after years of carrying an overstuffed pocket book bordering on luggage that all you really need for your personal comfort can fit in a palm-sized cosmetic case that takes up just 1/38 of your overstuffed diaper bag.
9. You'll able to name the meteorologists on five different TV channels because you tune into them all nightly to make sure your child is appropriately dressed for the next day's outing or daycare (but will still forget to bring your own umbrella).
10. You will suddenly understand why all those other parents spent endless phone conversations and coffee breaks regaling you with stories of their precious darling's latest accomplishments. And you will not care in the least when you bore your childless friends silly recounting the very same feats.
10 Ways a baby changes your life
